As Sarah and old man Johannason lowered their heads solemnly, Bill began to snicker. He recognized those pontoon boat-sized Doc Martins anywhere. Jesus, his costume was no more than a rancid trenchcoat and a beret concealing his face. Ted caught on. Damn, Chad was good at lying still. The beret began twitching with laughter.

Lasting as long as he could, Chad bolted upright and bellowed, "Y'all are going to hell, sinners, SINNERS!" A thin dark line trickled slowly down Johannason's jacked-up trousers. Sarah gaped at Chad. "Jesus H. Christ."

Chad hopped up, the stench of the trenchcoat hitting the group. They stepped back in disgust. "Good guess, high priestess. I'm the J muthafuckin' C, rightcheeya." He pounded himself squarely in the chest. Ted looked at him dubiously. That's a Jesus costume?

"So we goin' or what?"